Songs to Play at my Funeral

As time went on over the next year Mike would continue to try to get me out of my comfort zone and start taking risks with my playing and by this time, I was more than just intrigued with the notion of singing.  I wanted to try it, but was almost as fearful as my inability to swim (which I cannot do at all.  Another story for another time).  Somewhere along the way, my ability to strum a few chords was coming along nicely.  C to D? No problem.  You want D to G?  Sure.  Hell, I will even throw in the occasionally Am chord.  My skills were improving.  Not great, but enough to keep me motivated to continue. 

One night Mike was over at our place and Heather and the girls were out somewhere, so it was just Mike and I along with some liquid courage in the form of a few beers for each of us I am sure, when we decided I would try my first ever attempt at not just singing but, trying a song that I had recently written. 

Short Interlude: The Origin Story of my First Official “Song”:

Heather and I took the girls to a River Cats game, a AAA baseball club in Sacramento.  After every weekend home game they would do a firework show, whether the team wins or not, you always get a show.  This night, as the fireworks were lighting up the sky, I took notice of the crowd and was taken by the fact that everyone in that place was looking up at the night sky and smiling.  It was unifying and symbiotic.  No matter what anyone’s political persuasion or where they were in their life, at that moment we were one in agreement that what we were watching was simply brilliant light on a beautiful Saturday night in our collective town.  Then on Monday we all go back to our lives, that are sometimes complicated, messy and stressful.  I went home that night and wrote these words:

Fire is blazing in the sky
Under the crowd’s watchful eye
Sounds of thunder
on these nights of wonder

Remembering times of young delight
Running in the August night
Endless friendships and playful worship

Whatever happened to times like these?
Skipping rocks and climbing trees
The days were short, and the nights were long.
(We were) Killing time with a simple song

Now I sit and watch as the fires die
As the salesman tells me one more lie
Feelings of hunger
On this night, I wonder….

Whatever happened to times like these?
Skipping rocks and climbing trees
The days were short, and the nights were long.
(We were) Killing time with a simple song

I sing a song of remembrance.
I sing a song of hope.
I sing a song of deliverance.
From this dangling rope

So, this song sat in my drawer until the night Mike and I were sitting on the floor in my living room and Mike suggested we hit the Play/Record button on my cheap little recorder and while he played 3 chords I would simply start singing the words to my song. I stressed to him, that I had no melody to it and that they were just words on a page.  He proceeded to hit record, start strumming… C to D to G, and looked at me like “I can do this all night” while he waited for me to start singing.  I was frozen with fear, but I trusted him and knew he was not trying to embarrass me.  He just wanted me out of my preverbal shell.  So, I sang.  What you are about to hear is not very good at all and is way outside my comfort zone because unless you know the context that I just laid out (and hopefully you are following along) this is just a very badly sung song.  However, much like the idea that you can’t see the light until you have been through the darkness or you can’t know love without experiencing hate, you can’t know the growth I have gone through without hearing this (very rough) first attempt. 

Admittedly, it has been a long time since I listened to this tune as well, but what I am proud of is sort of the theme or moral of this story I am trying to lay out, which is the ability to create something from nothing.  When Mike starting strumming I had no idea where that tune would go and if you are listening, by the time I got to (what I think is the bridge) I kind of settled in to something that was a little more listenable than even how it started. Somewhere around 2:05 into the song. Credit to Mike for changing how he was playing the tune to a different strum pattern, knowing we were in a different section of the song and saw that I was getting more comfortable with where the song was going.

I think it is worth noting too, that as you see/hear the songs and specifically lyrics (or poems if you struggle to call these things “songs”, like I do) as this blog goes on, that I tend to write kind of darker lyrics. Or, at least they have an element of darkness. This is a song that starts out with optimism and unity, but ends with “at the end of the day, we all go back to our difficult, complicated lives and people are generally suffering.” If you are paying attention, this might be a trend. Not sure why that is. Still need to unpack it through this process.

I want to share my progress chronologically as I write this blog (and I will), but I am anxious to share with you where that song ended up as I would later blend those lyrics with an instrumental piano piece by Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys from an album he did back in the late 70’s.  The tune was called Thoughts of You, so my “remix” is called Simple Song (Thoughts of You).  It is a very somber piece of music, but my words fit nicely into the track and I even put in a few flute interludes between the verses, which I thought was a nice touch.  This will also demonstrate that I believe my vocal abilities have improved since that first early recording sitting on my living room floor.  It is also a much cleaner recording than sitting on a floor with a Sony tape recorder.  I think it shows my growth and improvement in the song writing and structure process in general. Special thank you to Garageband.